How's the New Year's Diet Coming?

Given up on that diet already? If you're not a fast food junky, this simple tip might help. Studies show we eat the least when dining with blue china.

That's right, just invest in a set of new dinnerware (and we know you've been wanting an excuse anyway), and you'll cut down on approximately 100 calories a day. That might not seem like much, but in a month's time, you'll notice a difference.

Happy dieting!

Can't Wear Your Pants After Surgery?

Recently I've heard several comments from patients who've had surgery. They find they can wear only sweatpants, or worse, have to stay home until their incisions heal completely.

Simplicity makes a great product, pictured above. There are four expanders in each box. I purchased a box for a patient this morning at Jo-Ann's. They're having a coupon sale until Sunday, and I paid $1.61 including tax for the box.

Oh, for you guys who've gained a little weight, they double as collar expanders!



Nurse Nan

Wieners & Starlight Mints

First, sorry for the long delay between blogs. As many of you know, Trader and I have started our own Internet magazine The Connection, and it has taken up a great deal of time. So, what brings me back to "Nurse Nan?"

I had to re-certify in Basic Life Support this week, and had a fantastic instructor--Jesse Testerman from MedCall Ambulance Service. Mr. Testerman asked if we could name the most dangerous food for small children. Many quickly replied "hot dogs" or "wieners." This was certainly the right answer, but wieners account for only 70% or so of this kind of choking hazard.

Parents need also to be aware of mints--the Starlight kind that are roughly the same circumference of a wiener. Both wieners and mints can easily become lodged in the throat of a young child. If you don't know the Heimlich maneuver, please go online and take any of the many courses available to you. You don't even need to leave your own home to become a lifesaver...and the life you save may be your child's.


Kudos to all you parents out there,

Nurse Nan

The Connection/What Kind of Children Are We Raising?

The Connection is now up and running. By next week, we hope to have most of our departments in service and to begin offering you a unique local Internet experience. This blog will now be available through the magazine, as will several others.

Thanks to all have encouraged us and helped make it possible. Here's a link to our temporary URL:

The Connection

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I was once 16--in the last millennium. I'm sure I said, "Oh, Mother!" and "Oh, Daddy!" so often my parents couldn't wait for that magical age when I would turn 25, the age psychologists predicted children would finally become adults and develop a modicum of common sense.

If you read any forums or blogs, you know for the past year there's been much controversy about Sweetwater Mansion, aka the Weeden Home. It seems there's not much middle ground--you either think the restoration efforts justify the means, or you think the owner is a crook and you wouldn't give her the time of day. Surely, there could be some compromise...at least I have felt that way until recently, until I've seen the remarks made by both adults and children concerning this project.

In the past few days I posted some questions on Facebook. These questions didn't denigrate the work the volunteers were doing, but asked if they realized it could be all in vain. I've been quite surprised by one 16 year old, by her language and her attitude.

What do they teach in schools? Do students learn grammar and syntax? Do they learn debating techniques? Do they even learn good manners?

I'm attaching a message I received from the sister of one of the volunteers. At first I debated if I should black out her name in some way, but it's still there on Facebook for the world to see. This young girl insults "Bible Thumpers" and praises Neo-Nazis. What kind of children have we raised? What kind of students have we produced? Perhaps most importantly, are we aware of how many are utterly lost?

Smoke & Die Happy?

Pictured: Advanced Oral Cancer


Nicholas McCormick's picture was on the front page of today's TimesDaily. The Muscle Shoals High School student was depicted smoking what appears to be a 72 mm cigarette. Nicholas states that he smokes a pack a day and thinks that he will die happy. Sorry, Nicholas, I don't agree with you. Let's see how your life will play out.

2010: If you just have to smoke when you eat, you aren't able to dine in any nice restaurants. That's really okay, since you probably can't get a nice girl to go out with someone who smokes.

2015: You tried college, but had to drop out. There just wasn't enough time to study and work enough hours to support your cigarette habit. The average price of a pack of cigarettes is $5.50, so you have to come up with at least $165.00 a month for your enjoyable habit, not to mention rent, food, gasoline, car payment, and car insurance.

It's not like you can find a decent job either. The Human Resource managers can smell the smoke on you, see the nicotine stains on your fingernails. No, it looks like you're going to be living a blue collar life.

2020: You wake up each morning with a smoker's cough. You have to cough up yellow sputum before you can even light up your first one for the day.

By now you're married--to another smoker, of course. You and she drop your child off before going to work, a child that's also coughing because of your smoking. A child confined to a closed vehicle for one hour with two smokers consumes the equivalent of eight cigarettes. You probably haven't noticed how underweight your child is because you don't have insurance at your blue collar job and there's no money for regular doctor visits.

2030: Your smoker's cough lasts for over an hour each morning now--and you sometimes cough up blood. There's still no insurance, so you make a mental note to cut back on your smoking. It's hard to do since your wife still smokes and by now so does your child. That son or daughter you love so much wants to be just like Daddy and Mummy...and that means smoking just like you do.

2035: You're back in the hospital for the third time in as many years. You've lost one lung...or maybe it was the esophagus. That's easy to cure; they removed part of your intestine to replace it so you can eat, but of course you can't speak because your larynx was removed with the esophagus.

2036: You've just pushed the button to the morphine pump again. Your family is standing around your bedside. Well, your wife is sitting since she can't stand long with her COPD. Oh, and your child comes and goes since there's no smoking allowed in the hospital.

Your family decides on a grave side service for you since it has to be a closed casket ceremony. Plus, that way they can smoke as soon as it's over, but at least they're happy.

Are you happy, Nicholas? It doesn't have to be that way...for any of you.


Nurse Nan

Sunburn? Itchy Back?

So far this summer, I've had two friends turn into lobsters--and it's not like they had never heard of sun screen. If you tend to burn, it's best to get the sun screen with the highest UVA rating.

As Labor Day draws near, all the major drug stores will drastically reduce the price of their sun screen. So stock up for next year at a fraction of the price--and use it!

Well, that helps for next year, but what about now? You probably know that our favorite tried and true aloe vera gel with lidocaine is tops for the pain, but what about just itching?

Should you try one of those bamboo or hard plastic back scratchers from Dollar Tree or Spencer's? Don't even think about it. You already have enough damage to your skin without using the equivalent of an industrial grade shredder on it. You need a hair brush.

That's right, but not just any brush. Purchase a cheap plastic brush with ball-tipped bristles. Once you've tried this for that irritating itch on your back, you'll never use anything else. Just be sure the brush has the balled-tips and that you keep it placed safely out of the way of household germs when not in use.

Now, all together, let's repeat the pledge: We will use sun screen the next time and every time!


Happy Dog Days,

Nurse Nan

Is Colored Bath Tissue Safe?

About twice a year someone will ask me this question. The answer is yes and no. If you've ever had an allergic reaction to any dye products or have just given birth, it's best to stick to plain old white. It's also best for the environment, according to green mavens, especially where septic tanks are concerned.

Assuming you still want that extra splash of color in your guest bath, where do you find it? It is still out there, even though Northern discontinued making colored tissue in the early 1980s. Apparently cost was as much a factor as any concern for customers' allergic reactions. Scott still makes pastel tissue under its own brand and for several smaller companies. The top selling bath tissue is white, with pink and peach following a distant second and third.

However, with the advent of new hypo-allergenic dyes, colored TP is making a comeback. The Renova Company offers specialty bath tissue in black or fuchsia, but it will cost you. Six rolls go for around $13.50 plus shipping.

By now I'm sure you're wondering why such a long answer to such a short question. While I was in nursing school, a co-worker had recently given birth and was concerned about using the tissue at her sister's. When I asked an instructor about the safety of such products, I was promptly told that no one made colored toilet paper anymore-period. I decided not to contest her opinion since she held at least part of my grade in her hands; however, I did write her a poem. Did she like it? Don't know--I never had the bad judgment to send it to her, but here for your reading enjoyment:

We looked around and easily found
Umpteen hundred emporiums
With TP in hues galorium.
So, new mothers won't find it sparse,
But is it safe to wipe their arse?

Now, don't all of you want to redecorate your powder rooms?

Nurse Nan